i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
