What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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