So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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