She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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