i need an iv and a liver transplant
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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