LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
