tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize