If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
