found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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