my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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