i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
