his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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