Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
