I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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