Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize