i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
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Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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