we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
