just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think i have two assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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