So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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