Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
