Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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