You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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