yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
