You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
