saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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