Someone shit on the floor
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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