There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
