with your own penis?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
