i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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