Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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