I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
