i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
4 words: hood of his car
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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