Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
