went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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