I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
