ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
