Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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