we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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