She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
