Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
