Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
