I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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