So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
