Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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