if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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