just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
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she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
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Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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