found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
