Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
