i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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