Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize