Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
