All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
