My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
