High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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