So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I love having hate sex.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
