I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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