Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We named our party play list daddy issues
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Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize