You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
