We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Someone signed my nipple.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
