At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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