I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
