it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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