I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
