You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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