The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
