I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
